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Tony has phobia to marriage

 
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Info



Joined: 27 Jan 2003
Posts: 1691
Location: Hong Kong

PostPosted: Mon Jan 08, 2007 3:02 pm    Post subject: Tony has phobia to marriage

In a recent interview by Pheonix TV, Tony talked about marriage and relationship. He said as his parents divorced when he was young, he had phobia to marriage. He thinks as long as a couple living together happily, it is not necessary to get married. To him, marriage is just the legal protection for distributing wealth when divorce, he doesn't think it is necessary.

He admitted that he is a sensitive person, he could get upset easily, for example, he would get upset if there is something wrong with work, or if he could not have a glass of whisky, or even raining would make him unhappy. The reason why he enjoys acting is he could release his emotions in the movies.

The interview is at: http://v.blog.sina.com.cn/b/622502-1421273412.html

梁朝偉有婚姻恐懼症 文章

【明報專訊】梁朝偉接受鳳凰衛視《名人面對面》訪問,他提到對婚姻與感情的見解。偉仔與劉嘉玲經歷10多年的愛情長跑仍未結婚,原來童年陰影,令偉仔覺得婚姻沒有安全感,他對婚姻有恐懼。偉仔說:「小時候父母離異,我與妹妹跟母親生活,我變得怕跟同學說話,並自我否定。我覺得兩個人開心生活在一起不一定要結婚,婚姻只是離婚時,分財產的法律保證,我覺得沒有需要。」

偉仔承認是敏感的人,他很容易不開心,工作不順利會不開心,喝不到威士忌也會不開心,甚至下雨天也會令他不開心;而他喜歡演戲的原因,是可將生活中的壓抑,在電影中釋放。
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eliza bennet



Joined: 07 Jul 2003
Posts: 823
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 3:48 am    Post subject:

Even though I don't agree with Tony regarding marriage (maybe because my parents were happily married), I respect his view.

He is then very lucky to find Carina, it looks like he is not an easy person to live with and Carina had managed to do so for more than 13 years!

I hope nothing will happen to make Tony sad.
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Pungyo



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 400
Location: New Jersey, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 9:28 am    Post subject:

Shocked Oh my gosh! I just had the same discussion with my son! Last week was his birthday and he just turned 23, and is considering his relationship with his girlfriend. His father and I divorced when he was 8. He has the same opinion as Tony's, and Tony? If you are reading this... this is what I told my son:

My father's parents divorced when he was young... but my father and mother have been married for 52 years!! You can't compare yourself to what your parents did. Circumstances were different for them. You are a whole different person from your parents. You are not your parents. You have a different sense of responsibility... different sensitivities, different experiences, a different point of view on life.

If you're afraid that you will repeat what your divorced parents did, your relationships will be doomed from the start. Please don't think that way. If the person you're with makes your heart soar like a bird in the sky, by all means, profess your undying love to them and guarantee them a lifetime together with you.

Of course if you truly don't believe in marriage at all, that's a whole other thing. But, if you have a longterm relationship with someone, a marriage certificate is not just a legal document to help divide up the estate in a divorce. Think ahead, if heaven forbid, one or the other becomes very ill and only family is allowed to see them, this "partner" may not be allowed in... there are other ramifications on how marriage legally protects the couple. Plus, income tax returns cost less, insurance is less for married people, etc, etc, etc.

So although I'm divorced and I'm happily single... I would get married to someone I loved in a heartbeat!

My two cents.

-K
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D-love



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
Posts: 123
Location: US, New Jersey

PostPosted: Tue Jan 09, 2007 6:01 pm    Post subject:

I agree with you Pungyo. I have been seperated from my husband for some time now...Mmmm look at Us giving you advice Embarassed . But I know that even though things did'nt work out the way we planed, there is no regrets. I don't feel like I failed in any way. But He raised me to a level of true self examination and maturity, and not to mention our beautiful daughter. I know I would have held on tighter if I was just his girl friend, I think I really would have dug in my heels and putting up with nonsence, because I was waiting for that elusive RING. The split would definatly not have been mutual at all. I shudder to think of how we would devide all of our property etc. I would have failed not only myself, but my morality, and the inner convictions that my family raised me with. I'm the youngest of three and the only girl, so you know how my family would be upset if I had not gotten married. He respected me then and still does now...He still refers to me as his wife Wink .

D-love
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eliza bennet



Joined: 07 Jul 2003
Posts: 823
Location: Istanbul

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 2:03 am    Post subject:

Sorry to hear about your divorces and kudos to you for getting over it as best as you can and moving on with your lives.

It looks like that marriage is not an easy thing but I guess I'm conventional in the way that if two people live together, why not get married?
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Pungyo



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 400
Location: New Jersey, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 6:02 am    Post subject:

Marriage is definitely not an easy job... and believe me, even though you're in love with someone and can't live without them... it's a job!! Ha Ha. Best friends bicker. It's hard to live with someone else, too. But that old advice about never going to bed angry at each other is what you have to follow. Smile But, divorce shouldn't be the first thing on your mind when things aren't going well... you have to work it out. And that can be difficult, but life's not easy either!

In my case, my husband became enamored with a blonde that worked at his office... are they still together? Nope! It was a passing fancy. So now I wonder if he has any regrets for leaving my son and I... but I guess I'll never know. And to tell the truth, that part of my life is over... I went back to college, got my degree and have a fantastic job. My son's ready to graduate college and will become a teacher. I think we turned out OK! Wink

-K
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D-love



Joined: 13 Jul 2006
Posts: 123
Location: US, New Jersey

PostPosted: Wed Jan 10, 2007 11:59 am    Post subject:

Eliza - Pungyo, I would feel like such a fool going through all that I did and He was'nt even my husband Brick wall d'oh! . Even though it seems like they can. People can't just walk out that easy when they want to. That Paper means respect of the both your rights.

D-love
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Ivy



Joined: 12 Apr 2006
Posts: 27
Location: Shanghai

PostPosted: Mon Feb 05, 2007 1:58 am    Post subject:

Pungyo wrote:

If the person you're with makes your heart soar like a bird in the sky, by all means, profess your undying love to them and guarantee them a lifetime together with you.


so beautiful! Smile

we all agree that marrige itself is not so disgusting.
And I think Tony thinks so.
But he doesn't want to marry, so it's his own business. We just hope he is happy, that's enough!

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AznVietGirl90



Joined: 04 Jan 2006
Posts: 11

PostPosted: Fri Mar 30, 2007 3:42 am    Post subject:

I read the same article too.I mean he is very lucky to find someone like Carina..and maybe he just doesnt have to push himself to the wall.
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Paul



Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 144
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Wed Apr 11, 2007 7:41 pm    Post subject:

I think Marriage is becoming a more uncertain thing in todays' world. It seems more married couples are divorcing. It doesn't seem secure. Also divorce can finacally hurt a man a lot. Not that I'm saying it's the money that's important but there are certain rising factors which would put people off marriage.

It does seem that the most successful relationships we read about in the media are people who aren't married.

I think relationships can be very strong even when not married.
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Pungyo



Joined: 13 Jan 2005
Posts: 400
Location: New Jersey, U.S.A.

PostPosted: Thu Apr 12, 2007 5:23 am    Post subject:

That's just it, Paul... of all the marriages you read about in the media fail... but multiply that by hundreds of all the marriages that are successful. They're just not newsworthy.

Yes, the divorce rate is high... but I see first hand how couples live together for 25, 45 and 55 years. It's not easy, mind you... but they seem happy.

-K
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karengoh



Joined: 09 Jun 2004
Posts: 172
Location: Malaysia

PostPosted: Sun Apr 15, 2007 9:15 am    Post subject:

I totally agree with you, Pungyo, marriage have to be worked on by both parties. My sons are 8 and 5 years old now and our marriage has the up and down too. Both of us worked very hard for the marriage. I believe in marriage with a conservative Asian upbringing. My parents have been married for the last 39 years and they still do everything together. They also have their ups and downs, arguments and so forth. I wish I would be like them but nothing guarantee until the coffin nails have been fixed, that is the Chinese saying. (The ancient chinese use the seven inches nails on the coffin cover before they bury the coffin) My mother always say that you would not know you will be the real husband and wife until dead do us part.

As for Tony I don't know what he is afraid of. He is very fortunate to have Carina whom as far as I know is a very nice person, caring and so forth. All those rumours are very poisonous and give a lot of pressure to the celebrities. As what Anita Yuen stated in her speech at the HKFA, if you love your idol you have to support them by leaving them alone and giving them the privacy to go on with their living. I fully supported her.

As for the rumours about Tony 's mom and Carina. Maybe its just rumour and let me tell you, not everyone is lucky to have a mother in law that could clicked with you. In the Chinese community no matter how modern or open you are, the mother in law and daughter in law problems still exist today. Do not talked about someone else, I experienced that myself, not to mentioned my colleague and friends. We, Chinese, when married to a man you are married to the whole family. The worst will be that your husband listens to the mother, brothers and sisters more than to you. My husband is like that and still is but I worked very hard to pass him the message that his spouse and children must be his priority. And I am only 50% successful after 10 years of marriage.

Considering Carina's abduction, me and my best friends assumed that not Tony is running away from marriage but Carina herself. We were thinking that she might have not able to let that black spot of her life go.

Mind you, its not easy to leave together with someone for 17 years without the up and downs, argument and so on. Tonight at the HKFA, Tony and Carina they seem to be a happy couple. I wish they would be happy together forever and I know life is no fairy tales. Right Pungyo? I love your spirit of life. And is happy you made thru your life with your son alone. You are very strong.

Karengoh
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Paul



Joined: 29 Mar 2005
Posts: 144
Location: Tokyo

PostPosted: Wed May 30, 2007 10:50 pm    Post subject:

Pungyo wrote:
That's just it, Paul... of all the marriages you read about in the media fail... but multiply that by hundreds of all the marriages that are successful. They're just not newsworthy.

Yes, the divorce rate is high... but I see first hand how couples live together for 25, 45 and 55 years. It's not easy, mind you... but they seem happy.

-K

Sure, I understand what you are saying, but unmarried people have stayed together for just as long too.
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finfin2046



Joined: 03 Jun 2007
Posts: 5
Location: ZHEJIANG·HAINING

PostPosted: Sun Jun 03, 2007 9:53 pm    Post subject:

i have a phobia about snake Crying or Very sad

and tony strikes me as a conscientious man,even he has a phobia to marriage,he will answer for love and family!
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